Maybe I shouldn't try.

So today I had the brilliant idea to go biking. Our 4-day-long, 100 degree heat wave has broken, so I figured I should get some exercise. I got the bike we have down from the rack in the car hole (or garage for you fancy, non-simpson people). It was really dusty. I cleaned it off. Then i looked for a helmet. It was covered in disgusting dirt. So i cleaned it. The I put it on and decided it looked really stupid. So I opted for no helmet. The seat was too high. It took me forever to figure out how to get it to go down. So i eventually figured that out. This bike has those straps for your feet to go into. I've never ridden one of those. So I'm stumbling around trying to keep my balance while gliding slowly and get my feet in. Eventually I do. Then the gears on this bike confused me. They don't have numbers or anything and turn in oppostie directions. The one on the left you press forward to go higher. The one on the right you press backward to shift higher. Maybe this is normal? After about 10 minutes i was riding. But the handlebars felt really far forward and i felt awkward. And my butt hurt instantly. Eventually I mustered up enough courage to ride up the big hill in front of my house and out into the world. Unfortunately every direction from my house after that is downhill, which means it's uphill coming back. And I was so uncomfortable on the bike that I decided not to go down the hills. So I turned around after about half a mile. Total ridden: 1.25 miles.

Things learned:
1) They say you never forget how to ride a bike. I disagree.
2) 85 is still really, really hot.
3) I am really out of shape.
4) Biking hurts my ass.
5) I wish it were flat where I lived.

Is this the end of my biking career already? We shall see.